


At the End of the World

by ashottoremember



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance, The Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance (Song)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Ghost Of You Video, Based on a My Chemical Romance Song, Battle, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Emotional, Emotionally Repressed, Forbidden Love, Heartwrenching, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Internalized Homophobia, Loss, M/M, Military Homophobia, Multi, Other, Sad, War, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27541342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashottoremember/pseuds/ashottoremember
Summary: “You’re going to come back home, Gerard,” Mikey said“Mikey, you don’t understand, I’m not going to come back the same man who is leaving you tomorrow. And I am so sorry for that.”
Relationships: Frank Iero/Mikey Way
Kudos: 12





	1. I'm Empty When You Go

A bird chirped outside the window in the early morning light, stirring the young man from his slumber. He groaned as he cracked open his eyes, the autumn sunlight harshly falling across his face. It was time to get up. He started his new job at the factory today. He would finally be doing his part to aid in the war efforts for their men abroad. 

His eyes focused on the bed across from his and he noted that his younger brother must have already dressed and gone down for breakfast.

He rolled out of bed and promptly dressed before leaving his room. His mother had pressed his clothes the night before and left them in his room - an off-white button-down and brown trousers. He could feel his hands tremble slightly with anticipation for the day ahead. The confirmation of the job had been a cause for celebration for the family, as their father was unable to enlist due to health concerns, and the boys had been too young. Three men in the household, and none able to support the war effort - a disgrace to their neighbours. 

He checked himself in the mirror, ensuring he looked smart for his first day at the job. He knew by the end of the day he would likely be worn and filthy, but first impressions were of the utmost importance. A greased comb through his dark hair flattened any fly-aways, and he was finally ready to head downstairs for breakfast. The smell of fresh bread was wafting up the stairs, making his stomach growl eagerly.

His freshly polished shoes clicked on the stairs announcing his descent. 

“Gerard, I was starting to get worried you had overslept,” his mom greeted him as he entered the small kitchen. His father, Don, and his younger brother, Mikey, were already sitting at the breakfast table. Each setting had fresh coffee and toast laid out. It wasn’t much, but they were still far better off than many other families at present. 

Gerard politely kissed his mom good morning, before pulling up his seat at the breakfast table. 

“There’s talk of lowering the age for the draft,” Don informed the boys as a way of greeting. 

Mikey and Gerard nodded solemnly, not interrupting their father as he recounted the morning’s headlines for them. 

“Gerard, are you walking your brother to school on your way to work?” His mother, Donna, queried, as Gerard deposited his breakfast dishes in the sink. 

“Mom, I’m old enough to walk myself,” Mikey huffed, also depositing his dishes. 

“Nonsense, these are dangerous times, boys, and I’d truly feel safer knowing you are looking out for each other.” Donna tutted, tenderly stroking Mikey’s arm and straightening his glasses. 

Mikey had always been the baby of the family. He was born small, and doted on endlessly by their parents. It didn’t matter that he now stood tall above his older brother, he would always be the baby who needed to be protected. 

“Come on, Mikey,” Gerard smiled at him, “it’s on my way anyway,” 

The boys kissed their parents goodbye and started on their morning walk. Neighbours were out collecting newspapers and fresh milk from their front doors. As they walked Gerard pulled a cigarette from his satchel, and offered one to Mikey. Their mother detested the smell of them smoking, but the boys were stubborn, and enjoyed it greatly. 

“What do you think about them changing the age of the draft?” Mikey asked conversationally. 

“Makes me wonder if things are a lot worse than we’re aware of,” Gerard pondered. The war overseas had been a point of fascination for Mikey since it began, and a point of concern for him. He didn’t know what he would do if his younger brother was drafted and he was left here to care for his parents. 

“I think I might enlist after my birthday next year,” Mikey stated, looking ahead into the distance. 

Gerard gaped at his younger brother for a minute, unable to form a reply. “Mikey, you’re only seventeen,” 

“And next September I’ll be eighteen,” Mikey sucked on his cigarette, avoiding Gerard’s eyes. 

“You’ll kill mom,” Gerard said blankly, still reeling from his brother’s conviction. 

“She’ll understand it is what’s best for our country.” 

They walked in silence a while longer until they came up on Mikey’s school. 

Mikey stopped and turned to his brother. “Please don’t worry, it’s still a year off, and that’s if they change the age.”

“Don’t do anything rash, Michael,” Gerard told him sternly, using his full name to seem more authoritative. 

Mikey embraced him, “Have a good day at work, brother,” 

The pair parted ways, but Gerard was unable to shake his unease at his brother’s words. Their mother didn’t like the idea of Mikey walking to school alone in their small neighbourhood, she would positively be beside herself if he were to be sent abroad to fight on the front lines. 

* * *

By December the draft had changed to include men as young as 18 years of age. Mikey and Gerard didn’t talk again on the matter of that morning walk, but Gerard watched his brother carefully. Searching for signs that he was planning something, anything, that may be putting himself at risk. Each morning they walked together, but Mikey never mentioned the draft again. 

It was just after the New Year that the letter came. 

Gerard arrived home from work to find his parents and Mikey sat at the kitchen table. A glass of scotch in his father’s hand, his mother inconsolably sobbing. His stomach dropped as he saw the letter sitting on the table.

He didn’t want to believe it was true, refused to acknowledge what was upsetting his family. Mikey glared at him across the table, and Gerard wondered what he had done to offend his brother. 

Hesitantly, he picked up the letter, and inside was exactly what he had expected. He had been drafted. He was going to fight in the war. He was a soldier now. 

“I have to report to the barracks first thing in the morning,” he said numbly, unable to comprehend what was happening. 

His mother sobbed loudly and Mikey’s chair screeched as he stood up abruptly. Mikey left the room quickly, clearly angered, but Gerard could not fathom why. 

“Pack your things,” was all his father said, as a means of dismissal. 

Gerard turned on his heel, and left the room. He was only twenty years old, and he was off to war. His heart thrummed in his chest and he felt sick. He may never see his brother graduate, or hold his own child. This could be the end for him. He swallowed hard against the dread in the pit of his stomach. No. This was his chance to serve his family and his country. He would keep them safe. Protect Mikey. That was his role. 

After supper Gerard attempted to rest, but his thoughts raced endlessly through his mind like a fox on the hunt. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to stay quiet as his brother slept next to him. He must have been too preoccupied by his own thoughts to notice that Mikey’s breathing was not that of a slumbering man, but alert and slightly elevated. Gerard only turned his head when he heard Mikey move and realised he was propped up on his elbow, staring at his bed. 

“Mikey?” Gerard pulled himself up to be in a seated position, concern thrumming through him. 

“I’m sorry,” Mikey said quietly, but the silence around them ensured his words were clear. 

Gerard shook his head, confused, wondering if he had fallen asleep and this was a dream. “You haven’t done anything wrong.” 

“I was jealous that you were chosen to serve,” Mikey confessed, his voice cracking slightly. The shadows hid his face, but Gerard suspected his brother was fighting back tears. He slipped out of his own bed, and sat on the edge of Mikey’s. It was cold out from under the covers, and he started to shiver slightly. 

“Mikey, do not envy this task I must bear. You need to stay here and care for mom and dad.” Gerard reached out in the dark and brushed his brother’s hair, finding comfort in his presence. 

“You’re going to come back a hero,” Mikey found his brother’s hand and squeezed. The two had always been close, and the weight of their separation tomorrow bared down between them. 

“I’m not coming back, Mikey,” Gerard didn’t say it to be dramatic, it’s what had been keeping him up. He knew the stories. He knew what war did to men. 

“You’re going to come back home, Gerard,” Mikey said insistently, pulling on his arm, forcing him to try and meet his eyes in the dark. 

“Mikey, you don’t understand,” Gerard stared out their small bedroom window, watching the clouds skid across the night sky. “I’ve heard stories of the men who returned from the last war. Even though they came back alive, they weren’t the same. They never really came home. The war stole something from them. It died on the battlefield.” Gerard turned back to his brother, placing his other hand on his shoulder. “I’m not going to come back the same man who is leaving you tomorrow. And I am so sorry for that.” This time it was Gerard’s voice that broke. 

Mikey allowed a small whimper to escape his lips, but didn’t say anything. He pulled his older brother close to him, needing to feel his warm embrace one more time. 

“I will pray for you. You will come back to us,” Mikey was determined, insistent. Where Gerard had already given up hope, Mikey remained optimistic. 

As far as Gerard was concerned, that letter had been his death sentence. But if his brother needed to hold on to the hope he would return the same, he would let him. It was the last thing he could do to protect his little brother. 


	2. We'll Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tears were starting to spill from Mikey’s eyes and Gerard knew he would start too if he kept looking into his baby brother’s face. He pulled his brother in tight, holding him in his arms, taking note of the way his muscles felt on his back, how his hair smelt, the things he would miss while he was gone. Mikey embraced him tightly in return, and they held each other, trying to remember the way the other felt in their arms. 
> 
> With a deep shuddering breath Mikey pulled back, a new resolve on his face. “You are going to make us so proud, Gerard.” 

Breakfast that morning was sombre. Gerard could tell his mom had been weeping, but was doing her best to conceal her distress. He sensed that she too had come to the conclusion her boy wasn’t coming back. She had managed to scrounge up some extra ingredients to make a batter for a special farewell breakfast. It would probably be the last home-cooked meal he would have. 

Gerard sat quietly, savouring each mouthful. His father recited the headlines as usual, dismissive of the sorrow hanging in the air. Mikey poked at his breakfast, seemingly unenthused with it. He managed to swallow it slowly, with large sips of coffee, mostly out of guilt for wasting it rather than actual enjoyment. Mikey’s stomach was doing flips and his heart was aching in his chest. 

Once they had finished eating, they could ignore the elephant no longer. Donna could no longer hold herself together as she embraced her eldest son. She kissed him on the cheek and quickly excused herself from the room, Don tutting at her display. 

“This is an honourable task, son. Nothing to be sad about,” he told Gerard sternly, patting him on the shoulder. 

Gerard nodded, swallowing hard against the uncertainty in his throat. He picked up his port, and placed his hat on his head. He would still walk Mikey partway to school, before detouring to the barracks. 

Mikey still hadn’t said anything to him since last night. Had barely been able to look at him. Gerard supposed he was getting used to not having an older brother. 

The pair walked solemnly, Mikey’s breathing harsh in the cold morning air. Gerard jumped as he felt Mikey’s hand reach out and grab his, like he used to do when they were little. He squeezed Mikey’s hand in reassurance, but his brother still wouldn’t look at him. 

“You’re going to be okay, little Michael.” Gerard reassured his brother, wishing he could take that pain away from him. 

Mikey finally looked at his older brother, sadness glimmering behind his glasses. “I wish it were me,” he said softly. 

“Don’t be foolish,” Gerard scolded, pulling on his arm to get him to stop. They had reached the crossroads. This is where they had to say their farewell. “You have the world ahead of you, Mikey. And I’m going to fight to make sure the world stays here for you.” 

The tears were starting to spill from Mikey’s eyes and Gerard knew he would start too if he kept looking into his baby brother’s face. He pulled his brother in tight, holding him in his arms, taking note of the way his muscles felt on his back, how his hair smelt, the things he would miss while he was gone. Mikey embraced him tightly in return, and they held each other, trying to remember the way the other felt in their arms. 

With a deep shuddering breath Mikey pulled back, a new resolve on his face. “You are going to make us so proud, Gerard.” 

“Look after mom and dad for me,” Gerard tried to smile at him cheekily, but his lips didn’t want to form the shape. 

“I’ll say a prayer for you every day until we meet again,” Mikey told him, clapping him on the shoulder like their father had done that morning, before turning to continue on his way to school. 

“Until we meet again,” Gerard said quietly at his retreating figure. 

* * *

Gerard walked silently the rest of the way to his destination, the whole time focusing on drowning out the sorrow inside of him. He knew how important his role was to ensuring that Mikey had a chance at a future. He stopped thinking about himself and what he was losing, and instead focused on what he was protecting for his younger brother. He would make sure Mikey had the opportunity to find a girl, get married, and have children and live a fulfilling life. That was all he could give him now. 

They had all thought the war was some event happening in far off lands that didn’t really affect them. They had all felt safe, until Pearl Harbour. Since the bombing, their mother had not allowed Mikey out of her sight unless she knew Gerard was there to watch over him. If they couldn’t be safe in their own homes, then he had to fight.

Gerard looked up at the repurposed shop, now being used as a military barracks. He swallowed hard before entering the small space, but was relieved nonetheless to be out of the cold. He presented to the nearest official and they took his details, shuffling him off to complete medical checks. He felt like cattle being processed for the slaughter, hustled from one room to the next. They shaved his head and assigned him a serial number. His belongings were taken from his possession, with the promise of being returned to him once they were searched. He wondered what they were looking for. All he had packed were some clothes and photographs of his family. He doubted he’d see his things again, already feeling a loss of his identity.

A sergeant talked at them about how they were no longer a single person, but a group of people who would need to work together as a well-oiled machine to ensure success on the battlefield. Gerard struggled to pay attention, his mind wandering as he was overwhelmed with the reality of the situation. 

After hours of checks and processes he was on a bus out of the city to a training facility. The men were sombre, looking at each other intently, but not saying a word. They were all struggling under the weight of the same burden. Gerard felt a glimmer of hope in his stomach that this would all be for the best, that he would bring honour to his family. He tried to stoke that hope, use it to keep him positive, and fight back his dismay. 

By the end of the day he had been assigned his quarters, was wearing fatigues and being shouted out by a superior officer about how they were to behave during their training. He was no longer an individual man, he was a soldier. Part of an army, defending the lives of his fellow Americans. 

* * *

Gerard trained hard, determination forcing him onwards. Winter turned to spring, and soon he was preparing to ship out with the rest of his squad to New Guinea. The allies were pushing up towards Japan, and they were needed as reinforcements. 

He had mostly kept to himself during their training, predominantly using his leisure time to write letters back home. The other men wrote letters to their girls, but he didn’t have a girlfriend to write home to. Instead he wrote letters to Mikey, but never received any response. He guessed that Mikey couldn’t afford to mail him letters, but hoped his little brother was still finding comfort in hearing from him. 

“Are you writing another letter?” The man in the bunk above him bent his head down to look at what Gerard was scratching. He had tightly curled hair which was starting to grow back after having been shaved when he arrived. 

“Last one before we deploy tomorrow,” Gerard replied, not lifting his focus from the illustration he was working on. He had long run out of things to really write about to Mikey, so he had instead decided to send him an illustration before they left in the morning. Mikey had always enjoyed his brother’s art. The pair had made up novels as children, and presented them proudly to their parents. There had been a time where Gerard had thought he would be an author. 

“Some lucky girl to have you doting on her all the time,” his bunkmate stated, angling his head around trying to get a better view. They had spoken a bit, gotten along quite well compared to the other men in their squad. Still, Gerard tilted his page so he couldn’t see. 

“Toro, stop trying to get a peek,” Gerard didn’t correct him that he didn’t have a girl he was always writing to. Even if he tried to explain to the men he was writing to his brother, he was concerned they wouldn’t believe him. The front lines may have been dangerous, but it was far more hazardous to be suspected of homosexuality. He’d heard stories his first week of previous soldiers who had been dismissed due to injuries acquired due to their ‘flamboyant behaviours’. That was enough to convince Gerard to keep his head down. 

Gerard tucked the illustration inside the book he was leaning on as he felt the mattress bow behind him. Toro had decided to join him in his bunk. 

“Everything gets a whole lot more real tomorrow,” the other man said softly. Gerard turned to face him and saw the same anxiety he felt reflected in the other man’s face. 

“I know what you mean. We’re actually going to have to put our training into action. I hope we’re ready,” Gerard swallowed hard and tucked his book behind him, leaning back against the frame of his bunk. 

“Don’t get injured, and I won’t have to keep you alive,” Toro joked. He was the squad’s field medic, and was particularly nervous about the role. He was provided with only a very basic field kit, and had to rely primarily on his medical talents. In his previous life he had just started studying to become a doctor, and that had been enough for him to be assigned the role of medic. He tensed and relaxed his hands in Gerard’s sheets, failing to hide his nerves. 

Gerard shuffled over, sliding his feet onto the floor. He put his arm on the other man’s shoulders in a show of camaraderie. “I’m sure we’ll be fine. Before we know it we will be coming back home to a fanfare and drinks for all.” Gerard hated the feeling of the lie on his tongue, but the reassurance seemed to do the trick. 

“Thanks, Way. I’m sure your girl is counting down the days until you’re back.” Toro smiled at him warmly, exposing his teeth. The man had the kindest nature about him, and he made Gerard feel safe in this strange environment. 

“I know she is,” Gerard agreed. 


	3. I Never Said I'd Wait Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Spit it out, Toro!” Gerard slapped him on the back, not hard, as his anxiety started to churn over every possible outcome. 
> 
> “I heard some of the other men talking. It could just be a case of miscommunication, but I recognised a family name.” 
> 
> Gerard’s face paled.

Gerard was enjoying one of his rationed cigarettes as he scritched in a notebook when Toro’s shadow was cast over his page. He had been lucky enough to snag a notebook upon their arrival at base camp, having found it amongst a collection of reclaimed belongings. None of the other men had been particularly interested, navigating towards more ‘practical’ supplies. Gerard had felt a comforting relief at the knowledge that he would be able to continue to write down his thoughts and illustrations, even if he was unable to send them back home to Mikey. 

Ray sat down next to Gerard, who was enjoying his leisure time in the shade of a tree in solitary, as was his usual routine. He had already had a number of reprimands for not engaging with the other men during leisure time, but he maintained that it was required for him to be able to stomach the behaviour of the other men. They enjoyed a crass, vulgar humour that did not sit right with Gerard. The only bonding he had been able to engage in was when they were lucky enough to have acquired some booze. 

“More artwork?” Toro commented, peeking over Gerard’s shoulder, and similarly lighting one of his rationed cigarettes. The pair had been getting along famously as they mulled about the base camp awaiting orders. Gerard found a homely comfort in the other man. He had even felt comfortable enough in sharing the truth that he did not in fact have a girlfriend back home, but a little brother he cared for dearly. Toro had been understanding with the news, confiding that he too missed his family. 

“They’re illustrations, Toro. I am no artist,” Gerard responded, his cigarette hung out of the side of his mouth and dropped ashes as he spoke. 

“That’s art if I’ve ever seen it.” Toro stated, and turned his head to stare off at the horizon as he inhaled his cigarette. 

Silence stretched between them and Gerard realised there was something more pressing that had brought Toro over to him. “Penny for your thoughts?” Gerard queried, stowing his notebook and removing the cigarette from his mouth. 

“A new squad has just arrived,” Toro said slowly, taking his time to inhale, exhale and ash his cigarette before continuing. His hesitation made Gerard’s heart start to beat faster with anticipation. What was he not wanting to say? “They’re still receiving orders, haven’t met any of them yet but, um,” Toro paused again to inhale. 

“Spit it out, Toro!” Gerard slapped him on the back, not hard, as his anxiety started to churn over every possible outcome. 

“I heard some of the other men talking. It could just be a case of miscommunication, but I recognised a family name.” 

Gerard’s face paled. He butted out his cigarette and put a comforting arm around the other man’s shoulders. “Your brother?” 

Toro shook his head and Gerard was again confused. Toro looked up and found Gerard’s eyes, the dismay clear on both their faces. “Yours,”

Gerard pushed back away from Toro, his mind not processing this. He shook his head, refusing to consider that this could be true. “There’s no way. There’s no possible way,” He scoped around, trying to see if there were any new faces loitering about yet. “He’s still only seventeen. His birthday isn’t for a few more months. He’s still safe,” Gerard haphazardly rose to his feet, frantic but with no plan. 

“Way,” Toro stood also, gently placing his hands on both of Gerard’s shoulders to get him to focus on him. “You know as well as I do that most of the men here are only seventeen.” 

“No no no no, he’s only a child,” Gerard swallowed hard against the sick feeling in his throat. Although his squad had not yet seen battle, they had seen plenty of what comes of it. Day after day wounded were carted through the camp, and not long after the dead were also wheeled away to be buried. It was horrific the wounds these men acquired. Gerard could not let Mikey anywhere near such destruction of human life. 

“Way, calm down. If the sargeants see you acting so erratically you’re going to get another reprimand.” Toro squeezed Gerard’s shoulders, forcing him to stop squirming around. 

“Toro,” Gerard met the other man’s eyes. “Fuck ther reprimands, my baby brother can not be here.” 

Toro looked at him sympathetically, but did not release his grip. 

Gerard started to become frustrated with the calmness of the other man. “Do not look at me like this. The only thing getting me through this  _ hell _ was the knowledge that I may provide a safe future for him!” Gerard hissed, having the common sense at least to keep his voice low. If any of their superiors heard him talking about the military in such a way they would likely punish him severely. 

“I hope I’m wrong, for both your sakes,” Toro sighed, dropping his arms. 

Gerard didn’t move. He’d moved on from his initial shock and a numbness was beginning to settle over him. Thoughts of his mother, without either of her boys, plagued his mind. He had no doubt in his mind that she would have taken ill the day that Mikey had not returned home for supper. Gerard felt something beginning to ignite in his stomach, an anger inside of him. He felt the need to take action suddenly, needing to exert this extra energy, or else he was going to hurt someone. He spun on his heel and kicked the tree he had just been sitting under, letting out a roar of frustration. Toro didn’t say anything, just watched as Gerard continued to kick at the trunk uselessly. 

After a few minutes the fight seemed to go out of Gerard, and he slumped back against the trunk. 

“It’s nearly time for our evening meal, we’ll find out more then I’m sure.” Toro indicated back towards the main area of the camp. “Way is a common name - it could be anyone,” Even Toro didn’t believe his lie though. 

“No it’s not,” Gerard sighed. He straightened his uniform and followed Toro back to the dining tent. 

The men were buzzing with chatter at the arrival of the new squad. Gerard managed to catch snippets of information suggesting they were a scouting squad and would allow them to finally start pushing up towards Japan, as was their plan. The thought of his baby brother being sent out to scout ahead made his heart turn cold. 

Just before they entered the dining tent Gerard caught a glimpse of a bespectacled young man and his heart froze. Although his hair had been cut short, and he had gained some muscle tone in the past months, there was no mistaking his younger brother. He felt as if the world had dropped out from underneath him. 

* * *

Mikey clutched his satchel close by his side, paranoid that someone would know that he had forged documents inside, nervous someone might suspect what he was up to. It was July, he only had another month to wait before he could enlist in his own right, but he could take it no longer. The months without his brother had been hell. Every night his mother sobbed at the dinner table. Every evening his father drank until he passed out in the living room. He couldn’t stand it any longer. Gerard had told him that things would be okay, that life would go on. But already his life had been turned on his head, and he needed to do something other than attend school every day and daydream about the time when he could finally help end this war. 

Head down, he made his way through the summer heat to the enlistment centre. He was tall, he was mature, he could pass for eighteen - he almost was. Pushing his fear aside, he approached the centre with confidence, and presented his forms to the officer in charge. His heart thrummed in his chest, anxiety telling him they would know his documents were false. Someone would be able to see through his deception and he would be reprimanded, arrested even. 

“Please be seated, you’ll be called for a medical shortly,” the officer informed him, handing him back his documentation. 

Mikey breathed in relief as he took a seat next to a kid who couldn’t have been any older than him. He had slicked black hair and was fidgeting with his hands. 

“Michael Way,” Mikey introduced himself, extending a hand to the equally nervous kid next to him. 

“Frank Iero,” the kid replied, shaking Mikey’s hand firmly, although his hand trembled as it receded. 

“Exciting day,” Mikey smiled kindly. 

“I guess,” Frank shrugged, but didn’t say anything more. 

Mikey didn’t have to wait long to be called forward for his medical checks. They approved him for active duty and he was then sent to be shaved and processed. His blood now pumped with excitement that he had been accepted. He was receiving orders. He would fight on the battlefield alongside his brother to protect their parents, and he would return a hero. He didn’t believe for a second what Gerard had told him about men not returning from war. His brother had always had a tendency to be more macabre, and this was likely just another instance of his pessimism. 


End file.
